Laughing out loud…

I suppose I should start by updating on the ‘Mack’ story.  Trust me, when I say it wont take long, (well I didn’t think it would).

First of all I have to admit to NOT sitting it out, so to speak.  I am not a very patient person and although I try to be, as I think you need a lot of patience to be an online dater, I still struggle, with patience I mean.

So my confession is; that I only managed to wait until around 6.30 pm on the same day, before I succumbed to my impatience and messaged M.

Me:  “Hey! How was your day? Get up to much?”

“My date turned out okay!!  I had a very nice time. xx”

This was a reference to a conversation earlier that morning when we were joking about what we were doing that day.  He said: what you up to, I said: well you wont believe it but I’ve got a hot date today. Well, I hope its going to be hot anyway, he said: Oh, you will have to let me know how it goes LOL … 

M:  Did it turn out to be hot? xx

Me:  There were definitely some hot moments! x

M:  LOL xx

Me:  (in my head not on actual message)  Why the fuck do you keep LOLing at                               everything? LOL!!!!  I didn’t feel the need for an actual reply.

M:  Silence

I heard nothing after the LOL and to be fair what else could I say, except, you can bloody well stick your LOL’s where the sun doesn’t shine buddy.

So after much consideration and conflab with the buddies at work the following day, it was suggested that we leave it there.  Fine!

I couldn’t quite decide if I was annoyed or not to be honest.  For me it is the weirdness of it that I don’t get.  We had an agreement if you like, the deal for our ‘date’ if you can call it that was already laid out, preplanned, almost down to the finest detail.  Neither of us had said that we wanted anything more than what was on offer that day.

It is hard to describe how the events unfolded, without entering into the gory details but we more or less followed to plan to the letter.  We did not though, have full sex.  It was one of those close but no cigar moments.

I wasn’t entirely unhappy about this and neither it seemed was he as he mentioned ‘saving something for next time’  to which I made no comment at the time, once again unsure of the dating/shagging protocol.

My problem now though is the messaging, which started up again on Friday a whole two days after our ‘date’.  Now, I’m no expert on this but I suspect that this is the required amount of time to leave, in order to appear cool and nonchalant about the whole affair.  I’m sure like me, he may have been wondering how or what or if we were going to meet again.  However, so that he could remain very manly about it all, it is always best to appear busy and then suddenly remember to message the girl whose throat you had your tongue down a few days ago and drop her a little text to let her know you haven’t actually forgotten her, at least not yet.  So this is how it went:

Fri Dec 8  6:49 pm

M: Hey you, are you ok?? xx

Me: Yes thanks. You? x

Sat Dec 9  09:10 am

M Yeah, not bad thanks xx

Me:  (sometime later that day, when I had calmed the fuck down!) Well I’m very glad to               hear that!! x

         Do we have to do the small talk all over again now? x

Sun Dec 10  4:21 pm 

M:  The small talk?? LOL xx

I swear to God if he LOL’s at me one more time I am not going to be responsible for my actions.  What is wrong with the man?  Is it really necessary to LOL quite so much?  Why are you LOLing?  Are you LOLing because you think you are funny?  Are you LOLing because you think I’m funny?  Or are you LOLing because you want me to know that you are only LOLing and therefore not being serious at all?  Pray tell me, why all this LOLing?  It is really, seriously, pissing me off now…

Me:  Small, boring, dull, whatever you want to call it? Lol xx (couldn’t resist a LOL there)

         … but if you insist.  Had a good day babes? 😉  x

This started on Friday and over the whole weekend we exchanged a whopping 5 messages.  Call me demanding but I was expecting a bit more than that.

Here is my problem.  On Friday when HE messaged ME, we hadn’t spoken since the date.  That is fine, of course, and I will admit to being a little bit happy about the fact that he had messaged me.  That, I think, is normal.  I naturally assumed that because he had messaged me he wanted to strike up a conversation or maybe he wanted to arrange to meet again, after all if he didn’t want to do either of those things he surely wouldn’t have messaged me, would he?

Is that in any way a rational thought process?

So, I can only assume that he is either a complete idiot, who really thinks he is above entering in to a lengthy conversation that will inevitably lead to him having to reveal one way or the other, what the Fuck is actually going on his head.  Or, he is just trying, in that strange but very typically alpha way, to keep his options open, at least until he decides if it is what he wants or not, while looking around for some greener grass.

Either way I had decided that this was not going to be worth my time.

I really do not have the time for this shit.  I am far too, up to here, with bullshit now thanks all the same.  Be frank or to be frank, do one!

If you have the balls to be open and straight then lets hear it, if you don’t then please go and waste someone elses time.  I do not want to be rude to him and so I have not and will not reply anymore.  Oh wait…

Mon Dec 11  10:31 pm

M: So no talk, or just no small talk? lol xx

OMG is he joking, WTF is he on, SRSLY for real, FFS man, get a grip! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !! 

Yesterday while mooching around on Facebook I came across a post called;  11 things that are making people unattractive,  one of things that made it to the top of the list was Bad Grammar and overuse of slang/text speak.  I can’t say I am overly surprised by this.

When you are online dating the first thing you notice after someones profile picture is what and more importantly how they have described themselves, if they have in fact bothered to fill that bit in.  The message someone sends you is an interpretation of how they speak.  Take M for example his constant LOL’s at the end of every sentence is just irritating.  Everyone uses a LOL every now and then but your whole conversation shouldn’t be littered with them, try a different adverb/adjective anything, try nothing, just keep it simple.

Not everything is funny or should be funny.  A conversation should be natural.  You shouldn’t feel like you have to make sure the other person knows you are messing about or not being serious.  The more conversation you have, the easier this should become.   If someone misconstrue’s what you say then feel free to let them know, that is what a conversation is about.  LOLing all the time just makes the other person think you are not or never serious about anything you say.  Not to mention that it is very bloody annoying.

Rant over, I think.

I have not replied to M’s message from last night and nor do I intend to.  I was tempted for a split second but I was on my way to bed and although I wouldn’t have expected him to have LOL’d back again for at least two days, I really couldn’t be bothered to get into anything.

I contemplated replying this morning but couldn’t think of anything nice to say and so thought better of it.  Besides, I had to go and finish my Christmas shopping today as it is my last day off without the kids before Christmas and this had already marred my mood a little, probably best to avoid any contact with people until I had at least returned home.

My Christmas shopping, which didn’t go particularly well, was cut short by a phone call from the school to tell me Elsie was in the medical room.  I was surprised by this and so was the lady who phoned, as Elsie is never ill.  She has a 100% attendance since being in Secondary school and probably way before that, I can’t remember her ever having a day off. Ever!

She has got a stinking cold but there is a lot of it about at the moment and there are not many people who haven’t got something or other.  This morning she was tired as she had been coughing and sneezing like a good un throughout the night.  However, she went off no problem.  Bless them, they  know they practically have to be at death’s door to get a day off school.

Anyway, she had worsened through the morning and was feeling feverish so I curtailed my shopping adventure and dashed off to the school to collect her.  Unbeknown to Elsie she profited quite well from what little I did achieve this morning as I hadn’t got around to Tom’s shops yet.

I struggle with Tom’s stocking fillers, he is that funny old age now, where he is not really interested in clothes, smelly’s or gadgets and neither is he into toys anymore so his stocking is full of things he might find useful like pants, socks, batteries, deodorant, shower gel, I know, I’m stumped.  He, of course, has his main presents and all the other things he has asked for like games for his Xbox and headphones etc but they are not what I call stocking fillers.  A game for his Xbox is on average £40, that is not a stocking filler.

Elsie’s stocking on the other hand is bursting at the seams.  Full to the brim with hair stuff, smelly’s, girly things for her bedroom, stationary (one of her many fascinations) and make up (another fascination), cheapish bits that easily fill a stocking and hopefully will take them more than five minutes to open because that’s the idea of a stocking isn’t.  Lots of little presents that are not expensive that take a long time to get through, they build the excitement for the real presents and for the ‘big guys’ present which is always last, you must have a BIG stocking.

I am failing miserably with Tom’s stocking at the moment and now I have to go back to town to at least try to put something exciting in there.

That thought does not have me laughing out loud!

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