I have an announcement to make.
No. It isn’t that I got a text from K, to say he had a lovely time on our date and he would absolutely, definitely love to see me again. I’m afraid that didn’t happen. Despite me texting him and asking if he wanted to see me again, in a non pushy, just generally nice kind of way, which I have to say, is a first for me. I haven’t heard a thing. Except deadly silence.
However, I have had sex. Today and good sex, at that. Full sex with extras and very bloody nice it was too! I apologise if that is a little bit too much information and I’m sure for some it will be, if so, you may not want to go any further into this particular blog.
You see the thing about writing about your life and it’s ups and downs, is that it is kind of warts and all. It is hard to decide how much information you should share with people and what you should keep private. If you don’t share the things that happen then it is harder to bring them in at a later date if you need to, as you would have to explain it all right from the beginning anyway.
I don’t feel the need to tell you absolutely everything about what happened, after all this isn’t supposed to be erotic fiction but I do need to tell you some of it, don’t I?
So today I met M. After a week or so of fairly frivolous texting and him cancelling our original meet , which was supposed to be Tuesday, we met today. I was in two minds about whether this would actually happen and had been trying not to get too excited, as that is a definite no-no in these situations but I found myself once again, really hoping that he would.
There has been much discussion about this subject at work this week and opinions are very mixed, to say the least. It is still slightly frowned upon by some that people, women in particular, should be so open about wanting to have sex. Why? I don’t know.
I am a grown woman, granted I can forget that sometimes but overall I know where my head is and I know when I am happy or not in a situation. I like to think that I am old enough to know the difference between good and bad, right and wrong etc etc but I still would like to have sex, please.
I for one haven’t always been very confident in the bedroom department, especially when I was in my twenties but over the years my confidence has come with age. I am happier now than I ever have been, yes there are things that I find difficult to deal with and stressful but overall I am content with my lot and comfortable in my own skin.
I have had a lot of sex in my lifetime, with a lot of partners. I know this sounds very loose and perhaps it is but this was in no way intentional, it just happened that way. My relationships have never made it past the 7 year itch and most never made it past 7 months, never mind 7 years. However, the plus side of this, if there is one, is that I know what I like and I’m not afraid to keep looking for it. Neither am I going to say no, when it does come along, even if it is only temporary.
This does not mean that I am not fussy. I am incredibly fussy. I know what I want and I won’t settle. Not anymore.
I do not want to feel guilty for having sex with someone who I may or may not see again. If it turns out to be a one time only thing then I am fine with that. It is consenual sex, mutually agreed by both parties and therefore not illegal, shameful or disrespectful in any way.
I wanted to have sex with M and I wanted to do it today, I had pretty much made up my mind that if I liked him (in the flesh) and of course he was up for it, then we would indeed, do the deed.
I did like him and it was obvious he liked me. I think we both knew that we would like each other. We talked for a bit and it was comfortable but charged, there was expectation on both sides and it wasn’t long before he made a move, it was as easy as that.
The whole thing, from start to finish, was very pleasureable. It was not awkward or pressured or uncomfortable, just easy, relaxed and fun… and quite hot, actually!
Well, apart from one, Oh shit! moment, when way too far into the proceedings, I suddenly thought about protection. I know!
A vision of the roasting I would get from the buddies about ‘unsafe’ sex had me losing my mojo quite quickly. I put us both off our stroke a bit when I shouted quite loudly, ‘Oh fuck, wait, we need to stop’, while practically shoving him in to next week. Luckily he was not at all put off and after a few minor adjustments carried on from where he left off.
It was all that bloody kissing, it just makes you lose yourself. He was very tactile not something that I am usually okay with, as I’m more of a fast and furious type but I liked it. He was considerate and confident and very, very pleasing. After, we talked for ages, well he talked for ages, Jesus but he can waffle. I thought I talked a lot but I’m not a patch on him, we had tea and toast in bed and we chatted and laughed, a lot and then had some more sex.
I mean really, what is not to love about that?
I am smiling now as I think about it. I am satisfied in that, cat that got the cream kind of way and now, whatever will be will be. He said he would like to see me again but lets not forget the GF. I’m still pretty certain there is one. However, it was not discussed today. Will it be? Maybe, if anything more happens, who knows?
We have text since and both agreed that we had a really good time. I’m not pushing anything, if it happens, it happens and if it doesn’t then that is fine too.
For now I’m happy. A very satisfied happy and looking forward to a bloody good nights sleep, in a bed full of toast crumbs probably but I don’t care. 🙂