I want to introduce you to L, 49 from Surrey.
He is the devil in disguise. Actually he is just the devil, he doesn’t even make an attempt to disguise it. I like him, well that’s to say, I like things about him. I don’t know him. We haven’t met, yet, we might not even, who knows.
We just talk.
I’m not entirely sure I want to meet him. He may well prove to be too much for me to handle, he scares me just a little bit, in that he is over familiar, in a sexy, slightly unnerving way.
We have those dangerous conversations, you know the ones that get you hot under the collar. They are erotic conversations, stimulating and sensual.
He makes my insides churn and my mind spin, with erotic thoughts and images. He turns me on with just a few words. How? I don’t know but it should be bloody bottled and sold.
He calls me ‘his girl’ he says that he is ‘my boy’ and tells me that I can do whatever I want with him. He says he is going to please me and buy me lots of nice things and make me feel pretty and girlie (a tough job that, as I am far from girly).
He is a complete fantasy but Oh My God he is AMAZING with words!
I am completely hooked. He sets the scene and we are the actors, he tells me how it is going to play out. It is a story. Short and very sweet.
“A sexy picnic with strawberries and fizz. I am wearing a dress with no panties. He is feeding me strawberries and stroking my thigh, touching my hair and my face. We are laughing and flirting. He gives me a champagne kiss and the fizz dribbles down my chin I can feel it trickling over my skin. He follows the trail with his finger. I am hot, hotter now, he moves my dress and puts his knee between my legs pushing them apart…”
Jesus. I’m hot now!
I won’t write anymore because it’s not really what this blog is about but at the same time I want to tell you all of it. I want to tell you the things he said he was going to do but even if I did I’m not sure I could describe the way he said it. I can’t tell it the way he does. I read it differently to how I, in turn, interpret it. Reading his words seems somehow sexier than writing it myself. He doesn’t use nearly as many words as me yet he has much more impact.
The buddies and I have discussed this at length. They are not convinced that he won’t be a ‘ghoster’ or that he isn’t married and looking for thrills etc. and to be fair neither am I.
I do not know him or anything about him. I don’t know anything about any of the people I talk to online and there lies the danger. You are taking someone at face value. You can’t do it any other way.
I am not an irrational person, at least not all the time and I know how these things play out. I have had experience of all the different scenarios now. I expect nothing. I do though still want to try to enjoy this experience a little bit and with all the highs and lows that come with online dating, L, for now at least, is a definite high.
L is one of the very few people I have contacted first. There are not many profiles that catch my eye and even fewer that actually propel me to make contact. I may look a few times and wait but I don’t generally message first, I am far too indecisive.
I am very much an instinctive person. I tell myself that if I haven’t just done whatever it is I have been pondering over almost immediately, all the procrastinating means that I should probably say NO. If I have to talk myself in or out of something then I’m not really that keen am I?
I looked at L’s profile and immediately wanted to talk to him. So I did. It is now that I am trying to decide if that was a good decision, or not. My message was simple. “I like the look of you.” I don’t know if that is a good opener or not? I have never done it apart from with Christian, remember him, way back in the early days, since then I have not felt propelled to message anyone.
Things with Christian never managed to get past us talking about meeting for a dirty martini, so maybe I shouldn’t rely so much on my instincts, they do seem to be heavily influenced by my libido. I wonder if I have some male genes? *thoughtful face
He replied with “I like the look of you too, lovely Jo”, we messaged all afternoon. I had found my new favourite waste of time.
The next morning he sent me;
“How’s my girl? Your boy got Tipsy last night. Were you a good girl for me?”
I should have felt weird about that but I didn’t. I felt even less weird when he said a bit later…
“I want you, you have turned my fussy head. We will go to a nice bar. French kiss. Wear crotchless panties, you will feel good.”
Ok, will do boss!
I love how he tells me what to do. Even if it is only fiction. He has made it clear that he wants to own me and if anyone had told me that I would find that idea appealing in any way before now, I would have laughed in their face but for some strange reason I do.
One thing I have realised since L and I started messaging is that I haven’t given M a second thought.
M has messaged sporadically and I have messaged sporadically back but I have lost interest in him not because of the GF and not because it will only be sex but because someone else has my attention.
I always knew that M wasn’t going to turn out or into much if I’m honest but I was happy to be in it for the sex. However, now I am distracted again. How long for is anyone’s guess. I get bored easily, what can I say.
L may or may not turn out to be anyone of interest, who knows but what I do know is that for now he amuses me, in a slightly twisted kind of way. We may or may not meet and I’m not sure if I am particularly bothered about that either to be honest.
Currently as it stands now we are penciled in for Saturday but the thing with pencil is that it can be easily erased.