This post is born out of sheer bloody frustration.
I am not sure it will be a particularly long one but it will be a bit of a rant, just so you know.
I never planned to post tonight and had over the weekend pre-blogged some posts ready for this week but I have been rudely interrupted by Mack. Remember him?
I remember him because he was soooooooo frustrating. He was the kind of guy who made you want to gouge out your own eyeballs, not because he was horrible or because he was boring but just because he was down right irritating.
He LOL’d a lot. Remember?
I picked him up on it a lot but it was more than that. He was so non-committal. He messaged, but sporadically and always after a long and bloody annoying pause. It always felt like he was maintaining contact but was never really sure why, or even if, he wanted to have a conversation. In the end, I got bored and moved on.
This was quite some time ago now. Maybe two months or so, anyway he has long since been forgotten, until yesterday, when he decided to message me out of the blue. As you do, if you’re a bloke and you’re at a bit of a loose end!
Do you want the whole conversation? Or just snippets? If I do the whole conversation this will go on for a while? Here is the start of it at least…
Mack: Hello Trouble, Still online then? x
Me: Yes. Well you weren’t going to whisk me away from it all were you!
Mack: Well you didn’t want to talk anymore, which was disappointing to be honest!! x
Me: Oh fuck off! You just Lol’d at everything and took 24 hrs to reply to a message. Mr Straight Talker, be straight at least?
Straight Talker is his username, now that does need a LOL.
Mack: Not at all. Well I may lol a lot, you picked me up on that before! Lol But you went quiet after we met so guessed you either didn’t enjoy or didn’t like me, or both? Lol x
Me: Stop fucking LOLing. It is so bloody irritating. LOL I messaged you the same day! You were messing about. Taking 24 hours to reply to messages, who needs that shit. You want me or you don’t? Just bloody say so. It’s no big deal but I’m not going to hang around waiting for you to decide.
Mack: I told you before I left I wanted to see you again! I didn’t know your thoughts though, didn’t want to hassle you if you weren’t interested. x
Me: Oh God. You are infuriating. I don’t recall you saying anything of the sort and five message over a whole weekend is hardly what you would call hassle?
Mack: Ah! See. You don’t recall or don’t remember? I definitely said it. Actually I think I said it twice, you just obviously didn’t listen, typical woman! 😉
Oh. you think. You think I am a typical woman?
Me: Well, perhaps you should have reiterated that in one of the five messages. It is easy when you are straight and just say what you think. I am far from a typical woman. I won’t take any of your nonsense for a start.
Mack: Back to being my fault then? Go on then say it as it is, what were you thinking that evening after? x
The messages get longer at this point but no less frustrating.
I am caught between my reasonable self and my completely fucking bat shit crazy self, who, not unreasonably, I don’t think, wants to punch him in the face for being a complete bloody idiot.
I won’t bore you with the rest of the messages but suffice to say we were at stalemate, with him suggesting that I ignored his last messages, which in fairness I did because they didn’t really say anything. All over that whole weekend he didn’t really say anything about anything. He was being cagey and not committing to a thing.
I know, that is just how guys are because they can’t possibly be honest and straight and just say : actually I like you. In case we say, well, actually I don’t like you. I mean heaven forbid.
Do you know the funniest thing, is that men say women are complicated. I am not complicated. I am about as far from complicated as anyone could be. I just wanted a no strings attached bloke, to date and have sex with, he would have been perfect for that had we have had any further dates and got on. He is single and about 40, if I remember correctly, never been married and no kids. What was the problem?
The problem it is safe to say, is that someone else took his fancy and that is fine but at least have the bloody balls to say so!
He is obviously a commitment phobe and so am I to some extent but I don’t want him to move in, I just want to have a good time with someone whose company I enjoy for however long that lasts but he didn’t give me the chance to say any of that.
We both ended up agreeing that the actual date itself could have gone better and there was a lot of pressure on both sides to go through with the ‘pre planned naughty sex scene’. I still maintain that he was more nervous than he thought he would be and afterwards it was awkward, despite us not actually having full sex. It could have gone better and I think we were both a bit unsure as to whether we would be able to meet again but you have to talk or not talk, you can not just be half-hearted about it.
If you think it will be too awkward then leave it, if you think you would quite like to do it again then say, don’t just leave it somewhere in limbo land while you pluck up the courage to admit that maybe it could have gone better.
Just say, actually shall we try that again but with no pressure? Just bloody get it out there man! However, he chose limbo land.
So, sorry Mack but you snooze you lose.
PS. Apologies if this is badly written, spelt and incoherent. I blame my inner rage.