A new chapter…

I am having a cup of sweet tea.  Very sweet.

I need it.  I am so stressed.

We are back in the land of the living, after our few days of being stuck at home in what can only be described as Siberian temperatures, for most of last week.  Well, alright not quite Siberian but almost and certainly not what us soft Southerners are used to, that’s for sure.

It’s only Tuesday and it is already looking like it will be a long week.

Tom has lost yet another PE kit.  Honestly, I despair.  Is it so difficult for him to take one lot of clothes off put them in his bag and put another lot of clothes back on without bloody leaving anything behind?  “Yes” is the answer to that!

I was supposed to pick up another one from the store on my way home today.  I forgot.  Like Mother, like son.  My head is elsewhere.

I was supposed to meet Flash today, after we postponed during the snowy conditions of last week.  I had to cancel as work beckoned.  I have so much to catch up on.   He was disappointed, as was I and now I kind of regret it because I think that Flash is just what I needed today.

I fall in and out of bed with Flash (pardon the pun), easily because he is good company. There is no pressure on either side to commit to anything other than just enjoying each other.  We chat easily and we laugh a lot.  He is funny and sweet albeit in an over exuberant kind of way but I have said all this before.

However, I find that when I am distracted by something else he doesn’t hold my attention, I suppose because he is not trying to.  We are not in that kind of relationship, if we can indeed even call it that.  We text as and when, sometimes a lot and some days never.  It is easy.  Too easy.

I can pick him up and put him down whenever I want to.  That sounds harsh, I know.  However, I don’t mean that he is my puppet to do with what I will, this is just the way it is with us.  If he cancels, I am not too bothered and I don’t think he is when I cancel.  Well, until today.

He seemed more disappointed than usual today and was trying to get another date arranged fairly soon.  It has been a few weeks now since we have seen each other and so apart from sexting, which does not always come to a satisfactory end.  I think we were both needing some relief.

I am at a point now though where I am wondering whether to continue with it at all?  I keep changing my mind.  Unusual for me, I know.  😉

My mind is not my own right now.  I wish I could explain further but  I’m not sure I would know where to begin.

I have reached the point where I need to let go of all this, for now at least.

I do however think you will all be pleased to know,  I have finally blocked Mack.  The man just tipped me over the edge last weekend and after a week of cabin fever, he got short shrift of my bad mood once again sending me one LOL too many.

I have never known a man to message so often, yet have so little to say.

Woodsman and I had a row about sexism, also at the weekend, so he isn’t talking to me either now, as he thinks I’m a twat. 

He could well be right.

Am I bothered?  No.  Should I be bothered?  I don’t know.

I don’t feel like I owe anyone anything, we were just talking, messaging, trying to convince each other by text and some fairly innocuous pictures that we were ‘suitable’ bed partners, possibly more but hey, let’s not give anything away too early on in the game, it’s always best to keep your options open.  Isn’t it?

I haven’t been online in over a week, actually that is a bit of a lie.  I have been online, just, online in a different way.  Seeing what else is out there and looking at lots of other things that may or may not interest me.

I did tell you I get bored easily.

The dating site isn’t for me.  It’s taken me a while to get there and I might, once I have explored other options, go back to it.  Who knows?  I am not one to say ‘never’ but for now, I am casting my net a bit wider.

I fear this may be a shorter blog than you expect, as I have a tendency to waffle on a bit about this and that and not much relative, so apologies if it leaves you expectant, or feeling like it is lacking in some way.

Must dash.  I have more research to do.  🙂







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