The truth is…

I decided against calling Cheung.

It is clear to me that people say one thing and mean something entirely different.

Why? I don’t know but if I find out I will let you know.

I imagine it is because they feel like a horrible person if they tell the truth, maybe? I can’t think of any other reason.

Personally I think honesty is always the best policy, especially in this game, It is frustrating that people are not more honest with each other.

I am not saying that it doesn’t smart a bit when you get rejected, it does.  The trouble with the truth is, it often smarts a bit.  They say; if you don’t want to know the answer don’t ask the question but if you do want to know the answer be prepared not to like it.

I am prepared not to like it.

I have been on a fair few dates now and I have had my fair share of  ‘on the spot’ moments.  It isn’t particularly pleasant telling someone you don’t want to see them again but you just have to.  What is the point of saying you do, when you really don’t?

I am always polite, I say thank you for what has hopefully been a lovely couple of hours but if I do not want to see them again I say so and by the same token I will say if I do.  This does not mean that I expect the feelings to be reciprocated either way but either way, I do expect honesty.

For the most part my previous dates have been unsuccessful because I have not wanted to take them further.  However, on the occasions where I have wanted to, I have been lead to believe that my date feels the same until that is, it comes to arranging to meet again.

I get the impression that men find it much more difficult to be upfront about these things.  I’m sure not all men (not tarring everyone with the same brush) but on the whole my experience has shown me that maybe men think we are too fragile to be told the truth or maybe they think we just wont handle it very well, that we are likely to break down or cause a scene?  We wont.  I promise.

We move on, quickly.  In this disposable society we now find ourselves in, nothing is irreplaceable.

Even before Friday I think I knew that Cheung would not turn out to be what I had hoped.  There is a tiny tinge of sadness in that but only because of the build up to it all. The build up is the exciting bit, the bit that immediately becomes less exciting the moment you meet, purely because you have now replaced your minds image with the real thing and it does not come anywhere close.

That is not to say that you are not pleased with the specimen standing before you or that you wont have a very enjoyable time but it all becomes more real and less of a fantasy, which is as it should be as fantasies are very hard to live up to.

Everything in life is an experience and if you can continue to see it this way you will never really be disappointed with anything.  Don’t get me wrong I have made some truly stupid mistakes, misjudged people and had my fair share of ups and downs but life is supposed to be like that.  Life doesn’t come with a map or guide-book or anything that helps you choose which path to take it just lets you make your decisions as you go along.

Life is fun and can be exhilarating and wonderful but it can be frustrating and hard work and feel just a tiny bit tiresome sometimes, the little highs and lows can sometimes outshine the massive achievements and catastrophic calamities because they are a daily occurrence.

It is all a learning curve though, every experience good and bad is just that, an experience and moving on is the only way you benefit from it.

Football again this morning.  It was bloody freezing but I have to say I am getting in to the spirit of it all.  Today we ventured in to East Sussex for the last match of the season, a match that has been re-scheduled a fair few times due to our inclement weather.

The pitch was atop a lovely lofty hill surrounded by the ordinarily very beautiful Sussex countryside, the view had you have been able to see it would have normally been spectacular, as it was the wind chill was putting us all off of turning around to look at it.  It was a grey day to say the least.  However spots of rain and biting wind were not going to dampen our spirits as we camped out along the line ready to cheer our boys on.

The thing I love most about football is that it’s a very shouty sport.  It took me a while to feel comfortable enough to let my shouty out but now she is out, there wont be any putting her back again.

Football is a Dad sport, for the most part anyway.  I am one of only two Mum’s who are regularly pitch side, and when I say regularly I mean every week, come rain or shine.  I have seen other Mum’s but they are the fair-weather variety who usually only come to home games and pop along for half an hour towards the end to socialize.  I am hardcore, mostly because I have to be, granted.

I am Mum and Dad and that gives me the right to shout as loudly as I like.  I can give those Dads a run for their money, even if I don’t understand the rules and it clear to most, that I do not know the rules.  This means sometimes I shout at the wrong times but no one will ever accuse me of not being supportive.

Where I will give men some credit is that they are far less judgemental than women.  It doesn’t matter to them who I am, what I drive or even what I look like, I am just a football mum.

They do not care that I don’t know the rules.  Or at least I don’t think they do, one has tried to explain the rules but I don’t get it.  I don’t need to.  I just shout when we have the ball and shout when we don’t.  It is really quite liberating.

Bearing in mind that we joined towards the end of the season it was a little bit daunting at first and not just for Tom.  I was very nervous about having to ingratiate myself with this very alpha male bunch especially as I knew nothing about the game other than it is very, very competitive, even at this level.

However, I have been already become part of the fixtures, I’m the goalies Mum, who is a bit of cranky mare, she turns up looking like she just rolled out of bed, with her wild hair and the most ridiculous looking snow boots you have ever seen and she screams like a banshee and no-one cares.

Today we won the last match of the season.  Tom is slowly growing in confidence and it is really starting to show in his game.  We have finished third in the league and that is brilliant but almost more brilliant than that is, we have a week off next week… woo hoo!  I have almost forgotten what a lazy Sunday morning is like.

I am very much looking forward to my next one though.  I might even buy a more expensive brand of coffee this week as I will have time to enjoy it.

Elsie has bagged a shopping trip next weekend, so I will definitely need a lie in Sunday.

This weekend has mostly been Tom orientated, well it was his birthday.  Yesterday we were at the indoor skate park most of the day with his friends and today it has been all about football.

It has been another great weekend but this week, I will be glad to get back to work for a rest.

I do not expect that feeling to last…




2 thoughts on “The truth is…

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