I thought I had better post today for it will soon be Christmas.
It has been several weeks since I have posted and once again those weeks have gone by in a flash.
I often feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself. I am just one step away from the shimmering silver handrail of the number 6 bus, but I can’t quite get close enough to it to get a firm grip, my fingers tantalisingly brush the steel before the bus lurches forward and I lose it again. I am left wondering whether to try and pick up speed again or stop to catch my breath before I have a heart attack, whatever I choose it will be the wrong choice, because another bus will not come for hours and if I have a heart attack no one will want to resuscitate me because I will be all sweaty and smelly due to hours of endless running for a bus I am clearly never going to catch.
In a few months time when I read this post again, as I often do, just to see how my life is changing (it isn’t), I am pretty sure I will wonder WTF I am talking about. However, I am used to that.
Plenty has happened since I last wrote…
Elsie turned 16. I am still waiting for the ‘sweet’ bit to kick in?
I feel like Elsie has been 16 for most of her life, in fact I would even go so far as to say that she has always seemed much older than 16, she is a VERY sensible girl. Of course, I would rather she be sensible than stupid or unruly, but I do worry that she may be a little too sensible, if there is such a thing?
We had a lovely time celebrating Elsie’s birthday over the course of the weekend and now that her birthday is well and truly over, in true ‘Elsie style’, Elsie is now thinking about Christmas. I heard mutterings of iPhone 11’s in one of Elsie’s lengthy, group, face time chats, which had me choking on my coffee yesterday.
I hate those bloody chats. I can’t even swear in my own home now for fear of being heard in various other households, by god knows who, having an unedited rant.
Tom has started putting signs on his door now requesting silence when he is chatting/streaming/whoknowswhating… ! Bloody cheek. Keep your sodding room tidy son and it won’t tip me over the edge every time I walk in there. If you do not want your friends to hear what a dirty little shit you are, then pick your shitty pants up off the floor. The room looks like it is inhabited by hamsters there are so many crumbs and bits of fluff and things all over the place. Urgh!
Apparently, I was making too much noise while putting some towels in the airing cupboard the other day. A few choice words were shared ‘live on air’ then. I can not be the only parent who feels like their house is not their own any more? Not only do I have my own children in the house, I have virtual ones most of the time too! As if two of the buggers isn’t enough.
Football season is still going well.
Five games in and we have won all five. I know, I can scarcely believe it myself.
Todays match was touch and go in places, but after a rather lacklustre first half we managed to pull it back in the end, to secure another victory. I still can’t quite believe how much I am enjoying it, although so far the weather has also been good, which does help. A lot.
Weirdly the parents are way more competitive than the kids. I don’t understand how they can be so nonchalant about it all. I know they are teenagers but come on you must be happy right? While the parents are running around whooping and cheering and having discussions about buying pom-poms for the next game, the boys look like someone just turned the Wi-Fi off. In my excitement I mentioned to Tom that we need a football chant, he just gave me THAT look and said he might as well quit the squad now.
I was only (half) joking.
Sadly (although I am not that sad about it), there is no dating news, as I am still on my vow of chastity.
I haven’t seen Irish since August and neither do I want to. I have told him this but he thinks I am just being silly and I shouldn’t let such a good thing go. Isn’t it weird how we all see things so differently. Suffice to say, I am done trying to explain how I see things, which is and always has been very different to how Irish sees things and so we are going to have to agree to disagree and I will inevitably end up removing him from my mobile device, for good. Sad but true.
I don’t know when I will go back to dating. I will, at some point, if I ever want to have sex again, which I do. That’s the shitty bit about being single, no sex. I can do everything else by myself, or with minimal help… but I can’t spank my own arse. Having said that I have never tried, so it might be possible.
Being on your own isn’t the same as being alone. I never feel alone but I do miss company sometimes, especially company of the cosy kind, but cosy company is harder to find than any other, especially if you are a little on the fussy side.
Anyway, while I work out how to find the kind of cosy company I would like, I am taking a break. If I’m honest I need one as I have been promoted. #managementmaterial #takingovertheworld
Well, OK, not quite, but I am very pleased with myself, nonetheless.
I am probably not going to be next secretary of state (although we have had some pretty shitty ones, so realistically how bad could I be?) but in my small realm of the NHS I am trying to make a difference. Besides, I am sick and tried of money never going far enough, so it will be very nice to have some more of it and I’m control freak so I like being in charge. It suits me.
I am not one to harp on about being a single parent and the struggles that it involves, as there are all sorts of struggles for all manner of people these days, but what I will say is that returning to work after a having children and juggling child care and school term time and the holidays is difficult. You have to put your children first which we all naturally do, but this can’t help but restrict your income and your flexibility, for me it was also about self confidence. The post child me was so completely different to the pre child one, I struggled to convince myself that going back to work and looking after two small children was good idea, after all I wasn’t exactly mother nature and I felt sure that trying to work and look after Tom and Elsie would most likely end with social services banging down my front door.
I am still, to this day, not entirely sure how I pulled it off. Or even if I am out of the woods yet!
So with me still only just about nailing being a single, working mother of two, not too awful, teenagers, I’m off to have a G&T and work on my manifesto.